


His Blind Faith

by UnknownAuthorPerson



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Warning: Self-Mutilation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 15:07:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11900286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnknownAuthorPerson/pseuds/UnknownAuthorPerson
Summary: Shiro will do anything for his team. Shiro would do anything to save and protect them, even from himself. But as he stands in the bathroom about to do the unthinkable, it doesn't occur to him that he may have gone too far.





	His Blind Faith

He could hear the whirring of the machines even now, he ignored it before but now that he’s aware, they were even louder than before. Shiro watched his own eyes, trying to examine if any part of them were still human. Yet his irises were a little too square, his eyesight was too precise and he noticed that at times he could focus a little too closely at times he didn’t mean to. Maps that were displayed on the holograms and making plans for their next move, when he watched in on Pidge’s coding, and other times just before they were going to attack a galra controlled planet. 

 

It didn’t clinch until he found Pidge going over some simulations. Of himself, an implant and robotic eyes. She tried desperately to find a simulation that would carefully deactivate the implant and save him. But as he watched he noticed that the screen flashed FAILURE every time. But Pidge kept going and trying to find something to help. Yet all Shiro could do was rethink his interactions with the group and feel the back of his head, where he found a large scar hidden by his hair

 

Shiro just couldn’t take it anymore.

 

There was no doubt that Pidge would bring this information to the others and they would probably have to kill him. He knew he could run, but that would just lead the Galra right to him. What were other options for him? He clutched the small knife in his hand, looking at his disheveled face, dark circles forming under his eyes and wishing that whoever was watching knew what was coming next. What had to be done to protect his team. 

 

Slowly he brought the knife to his right eye, holding it there for just a moment. Even now his Galra arm was shaking a little, maybe the Galra controlling him may have been trying to stop him. More likely it was fear. Sweat formed along his forehead and slowly dripped down his face as Shiro tried to keep himself still, shaking like he was could only result in even more disaster. 

 

He closed his eyes for just a moment, imagining the faces of his teammates, of Allura, piloting the blue lion and the joy on her face. Lance and Hunk laughing at a personal inside joke. Mr. Holt and Matt’s excited faces when they first heard about being picked for the Kerberos mission. Pidge asleep at her desk while the mice slept with her. And Keith, smiling at him as he entered a room to watch the stars with him.  He put their faces in his mind, remembering every feature of all his beloved friend's faces, making sure that they were all clear as day to him. He opened his eyes to the knife an inch away from his eye, knowing this will be the last thing he will ever see.

 

“It’s better this way. It has to be,” He told himself, closing his left eye and plunging the knife into his right.

* * *

  
  


“Is everyone here?” Allura asked as everyone gathered for their meeting with the Blade of Mamora. Keith nodded sharing a concerned look with Pidge.

 

“Alright, now to the matter at hand,” Kolivan said with contempt in his voice, projecting figures of Shiro and a recent scan of his brain showing the implant that had been connected to his galra arm and robotic eyes and how they were being used to monitor them. Keith’s eyes were drawn to the projection of Shiro’s face. A large pit formed in his stomach confirming what he had suspected for a long time. Shiro was the spy. It didn’t make sense, but there wasn’t any way to look at it and now they had to do something about it.

 

“There has to be a way to deactivate the implant! Isn’t there?” Keith asked with desperation in his voice. Examining the recreation of the implant and how deep it dug into his brain. 

 

“The Blade of Marmora and I kept trying to simulate how we could deactivate it but…” Pidge’s voice trailed off as an officer for Kolivan spoke for her.

 

“All results...lead to his death.” There was a chill in the room. Keith held his fists to his side, keeping a rage at bay. Ignoring the worrying glances from Allura and Lance, themselves trying to process this information.

 

“But...we have to do something. Can’t we just...Lock Shiro up every time we try to formulate a plan? Or maybe put a blindfold on him? Anything?” Hunk suggested but he rescinded the idea right after, unsure if any of that would work.

 

“We will keep looking for solutions. However, we need to consider-” Kolivan paused for a moment, keeping himself composed before finishing his thought. “We have to consider exile from Team Voltron…”

 

All eyes were on Keith, Shiro’s closest confidant, his arms now crossed over his chest and eyes down to the floor. The very idea of losing Shiro was enough to shake Keith to his core. However, now they were talking about willingly separating Shiro from the team. Leaving him behind just so Lotor could no longer have the upper hand. Yet a small tinge of doubt scratched at the back of his mind, preventing him from fully going with the plan.

 

What if they were wrong? What if there was another reason for why the Galra suddenly had an upper hand. Could there just be another way other than making Shiro a walking spy camera? There just had to be another way. 

 

The truth of the matter was that there wasn’t another way. The evidence was staring him in the face, and the only choices he had were Shiro’s death or banishment. At least he would still be alive if he were simply separated from the group. Yet there was no way he would be able to see Shiro again. 

 

“Pidge, are you sure there isn’t anything we can do?” All he got was her slowly shaking her head. There really wasn’t anything they could do? “Can we reconsider Hunk’s idea and just have Shiro go into another room when we make plans?”

 

“Well, to be honest, we can’t just kick Shiro out without dealing with one thing,” Pidge showed the prefrontal cortex and a small metal device that connected his robotic eyes. “With this device, the galra have essentially screwed with Shiro’s judgment. Leaving it alone could lead to disaster”

 

“Meaning what?” 

 

“Meaning that if we don’t do something. Shiro might do something dangerous and illogical eventually. Right now he’s impaired but not too bad. However the longer he has it, the worse it’s going to get. He might do something really dangerous.”

 

“What do we do then?” Lance asked as Pidge tapped on the table, looking at any option of saving their friend.

 

“I...don't know…”

 

A blood-curdling scream echoed through the castle. The meeting stopped and everyone was on guard.

 

“What was that?” Hunk asked. But Keith seemed to know the answer running out the room and straight to Shiro’s room. Without hesitation, everyone followed

* * *

 

In this new dark world, all Shiro could feel was pain. A pain unbearable but not unfamiliar. This time, the pain was self-inflicted. He held the cloth tightly before fumbling to clean his face. Blood seeped through the cloth yet he kept wiping the blood off what he could feel were his cheeks. Keeping in mind to avoid his broken eyes. A wire was gently brushing against his cheek, he grabbed the wire and was prepared to pull when the door opened and a scream was heard.

 

He stopped what he was doing as more footsteps approached and stopped. Mummering, gasps, a thud, and a warm hand on his shoulder. 

  
“Shiro...what...I don’t-” Keith was at his right, holding him up with a hand on his chest and a soft whimper in his voice. He could now only imagine the despair on Keith’s face. A face he would never see again. 

 

“Ar-Are you...Why Shiro?” Allura asked, now on his left and helping Keith lift him up. Someone wrapped the cloth around his face while Keith and Allura supported him up. 

 

Shiro said nothing. What could he say about his actions? He just smiled and what he hoped was the rest of the group as Allura and Keith led him out of his personal bathroom.

* * *

 

He sat up in his bed, unsure how long he’d been in there. Shiro was alone, that much he knew. That’s all he knew right now. There was a clean cloth that wrapped around his head covering his blank eyes. He had been asleep that much he knew but for how long. Even now, all he could think was that this was better, for him and the team. 

 

His door opened and shut as Shiro lifted his head in the direction of the noise. 

 

“Who’s there?” He asked, but nobody answered. The heat from Shiro’s galra hand lit up but a weight on the side of his bed and a gentle hand on his left made his defenses go down. 

 

“Don’t worry, it’s just me,” Keith answered, his hand gently squeezing his. “How are you doing?”

 

“Well, seems I’ve gone blind. But other than that pretty good.” Shiro’s poor sense of humor still seemed to get a small laugh out of Keith. 

 

“It’s just...hard to process why you would do that to yourself.” Keith sounded sullen but Shiro reassured him with a smile. 

 

“I wanted to protect the team.”

 

“How does blinding yourself help us? We could have talked it out! There were so many other options… How are you supposed to fly the Black Lion or do anything now?” Keith held Shiro’s hand tighter now, waiting for an answer that Shiro didn’t have. At the time, it seemed like the only option he’d had. It was either figure out a permanent solution or leave them behind. He couldn’t abandon them like that but he wasn’t going to risk staying the Galra’s spy camera and ruin any chance of defeating Lotor.

 

“We both know I was never going to pilot the Black Lion again.”

 

“Is that all you have to say? How could you do this to yourself?” Keith was right, but now it was too late. There was no going back for him, but even know it was better for him this way, it had to be. 

 

Shiro used his Galra arm to feel for Keith’s body. As soon as he found his shoulder, he pulled Keith close and brought him in for a hug.

 

“They  _ need _ you,” Keith wrapped his own arms around Shiro’s waist.

 

“They need you even more.” Shiro held Keith in his arms, taking in every sense that he could, the feel of his hair brushing against his face, the tears that fell onto his naked shoulder, the familiar smell Keith gave off. Even if he could only remember his face, at least now he could appreciate everything else about his dear friend, even if that’s all he could do for the moment. It was also in that moment, that regret finally washed over Shiro like a tidal wave and there, he truly accepted it.


End file.
